Kim Kardashian West
Is such a Libra and 100% concerned about her image, 100% of the time. She is shallow and narcissistic and puts herself and her brand above the wellbeing of her children. Allowing Kanye West (a bipolar Gemini) father not one, two, but FOUR children is not fair to those kids, and Kim should have known better. I’m looking forward to seeing who she chooses as her fourth husband. On a positive note, without Kim Kardashian I don’t know if curvy women would have gotten the appreciation they get today. Models have always been rail thin, and still are, but thanks to Kim K, models can have a fat ass, too.
Kanye West
Is certifiable delusional. He’s a musical genius, sure. But fucking off his rocker. In his most recent interview for “Jesus is King” he said he was the “most influential artist of all time” and that was “just a fact.” Hmm. I wonder who his source was!
North, Saint, Chicago and Psalm
Will be the most glamourous drug addicts, thieves and socialites this world has ever seen. I’ll hand it to the Wests, they’ve secured their legacy as media moguls with these four little mixed race babies. But the impact of having Kim Kardashian and Kanye West as parents…...yeesh. We’ll have to wait and see.
Kourtney Kardashian
Is the only Kardashian who seems to have a grip on real life. Maybe it’s because Kourtney is the only sister with a college education. She seems to have her priorities straight about what is important in life: spending time with her children and traveling the world. Yes, she is still image-obsessed and dripping in excess wealth, but she seems to be grounded by her religious beliefs and sense of self. I also think she is the most naturally beautiful of the sisters; even though she has definitely had work done, she doesn’t look like she’s gotten work done.
Scott Disick (Sofia Richie)
Is a troubled soul that fell into a lifestyle where he can run away from his problems forever. Scott concerns me because at such a young age (he’s under 40), he lost both of his parents, became a father of three and one of the most talked about names in media. It’s a lot for anyone to handle, especially a New Yorker with substance abuse issues. The Kardashian’s men are watched like hawks, and as a result some of Scott’s worst mistakes have been documented. I would feel more sympathy for the guy if he didn’t have such an ego. However- I’m glad he started dating Sofia Richie. He claims to have struggled with sex addiction in the past, and Sofia seems like one of the few women in the world who would have satisfied his cravings. She’s perfect for him: young and in her prime, toned and tanned, and already accustomed to the style and lifestyle of mega-rich Californians.
Mason, Penelope and Reign
I think Mason is going to turn out the most like his father. As the oldest, he absorbs the most of his parents behaviors. Scott lacks responsibility and accountability, important characteristics children need to learn from their parents. I think Mason will break Kourtney’s heart the day he starts galavanting as an LA teen. As for Penelope and Reign, they’re too young and cute for me to hold them to any fault. If anything they should be in school more, but hey, traveling the world on private jets is probably really educational.
Khloe Kardashian
Let’s face it- Khloe has been known as the “Ugly Sister” since the Kardashians erupted into the reality show scene back in 2009. And as a result, year after year, another part of her face is cut off, tightened or injected. It’s sad to watch. She seems to have experienced the most genuine difficulties out of the whole family. Her ex husband Lamar not only cheated on her multiple times, but OD’d and was in the hospital for weeks following their separation. The betrayal was even more devastating with all the drug use and lies. She then had the trials and trepidations of dating after her marriage ended: all documented for entertainment.But finally, Tristen Thompson knocked her up and all her troubles seemed to finally be resolved. That brings me to:
Tristen Thompson
A scumbag basketball hoe who cheated on Khloe when she was days away from delivering his child. Any man who cheats on their pregnant wife can go to hell as far as I’m concerned. Being pregnant takes such a toll on a woman’s body, and I can’t even imagine the insecurity she must have been feeling while carrying her first child in the public eye. Was he even sorry? NO! Not only was he was caught with other women post his daughter’s birth, but he kissed JORDYN WOODS, Kylie Jenner’s famous BFF, in front of a dozen witnesses. How stupid can he be?? Pretty fucking stupid. Cancelled.
Kendall Jenner
As much as I hate Candle Jenner, I have to hand it to her- she could have still been rich and not have to work as hard. But she’s a Scorpio, and we have to be the best. So she took her perfect build and endless familial connections and became an international supermodel. Is she a good one? Who can tell. Does she deserve success? I mean, she shoots at least five campaigns a month. I’ll give credit where credit is due: she’s got a hell of a work ethic.
Kylie Jenner
Maybe one day we will live in a world where Kylie Jenner’s face isn’t plastered fucking everywhere. Apparently that’s what happens when you’re the world’s hottest billionaire. Guys, she’s hot because she BOUGHT that body!! It drives me crazy that no one talks about it. She ballooned her ass to a comical size, yet girls around the world are singing her praise. So little of her is real! And let’s talk about the money. What person needs a billion dollars? Absolutely no one. Think about if she gave 1% of her fortune to an underdeveloped country. That could feed hundreds of thousands malnourished people! Yet she hoards it in Lamborginis and Hermes purses and Jimmy Choo heels. It’s disgusting. But yes, I, like everyone else, will continue to gawk at her Instagram posts.
Stormi
Is one of the cutest celebrity babies I have ever seen. I am patiently waiting for her memoir to come out in 20 years titled “My Life as an Accessory.”
Travis Scott
Got out while he still could. He’s a Taurus and Kylie’s a Leo, so I suspect he finally stood his ground to one of her ridiculous requests. I mean, think of how much of a diva she must be. Travis has better stuff to do, like being one of the most respected hip-hop artists of our generation. However, I couldn’t listen to Astroworld without thinking of him fucking Kylie Jenner and what her pussy must be like?? On another note, I respect the hell out of them for co-parenting while separated.
Kris Jenner
As they say: the devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works harder. Think of the power that came from this woman’s womb. She marketed her talentless daughters to be media moguls. She’s so untouchably wealthy it’s disgusting. It’s also disgusting how she shamelessly plays favorites to whichever daughter is the richest (used to be Kim, not it’s Kylie). And another thing- she’s called “Lovie” instead of “Grandma.” Really Kris?? Everyone knows how old you are, sweetheart.
Corey Gamble
Is a strange addition to the Kardashian-Jenner Clan. I’m not sure what he sees in Kris Jenner besides lifestyle perks. Do they sleep in the same bed? Do they have seperate rooms? Does he get an allowance? Does she let him drive her cars? It’s odd, it’s confusing, but hey, let’s not forget that Kris’s ex husband became a woman. It must have been hard to move on from that.
Caitlin Jenner
Is cancelled because Kris Jenner wants her to be cancelled. I remember the Vanity Fair cover with the title: “I am Caitlin.” It was shocking! Bruce was suddenly gone. The public was confused, but imagine how confusing it was for Kendall and Kylie. Their dad didn’t die, but their dad wasn’t there anymore. He was replaced with Caitlin, a new female dad. Caitlin since has disappeared, most likely due to her ignorance about the trans community and supporting Donald Trump. I wonder what her life is like now.